Lekan Otufodunrin, Journalist and media career development specialist recalls an occasion when his wife subtly protested his ‘too busy’ work schedule.
About a year before I left The Nation as Editor, Online, we were at home on a Sunday afternoon after church service when someone called me on phone and I spent some time answering him?
When I ended the call, my wife engaged me in a discussion that made me realised how bad she was feeling about my being at home physically but spending most of the time online working.
Below is my recollection of the kind of conversation we had that afternoon.
“You just told the person who called that you are home,” she said.
“Yes, am I not,” I replied.
“Are you sure you are?” she said with a smile as I tried to understand what she was getting at.
Before I could offer any response she shocked me with her next statement “ No, you are not at home, you are on the computer”
“ For hours since we returned from Church, you have been on your computer working as if you are in the office while I am sitting here with nobody to speak with. When I even ask you any question or try to draw your attention to something, you just keep saying you are coming,” she went on as I listened not sure how to respond.
I was clearly guilty of what she was accusing me of, but what do I do when some big stories couldn’t wait to be uploaded before we are beaten to it by our competitors. I also had to constantly keep an eye on our website before my boss calls to ask me why we don’t have one story or the other.
I thought I will just edit some, upload them and join my wife to watch some of her favourite television shows even if I was not fond of them, but I got caught up in my usual endless online work and didn’t know my wife was boiling to tell me the how she felt that afternoon, unlike other days when she would find other things to occupy herself.
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I work Monday to Friday, returning late in the night and even a good part of Saturday attending to some other issues, and not even Sunday was, apart from the church service to be fully off duty.
She probably would not have bothered if any of our children was at home, but as it happens at a stage in the life of couples, the children, one after the other move on. While the older ones start settling down in their apartments, the younger ones are in school and the couples are back to the early days of living alone most times.
Though my wife read Mass Communication and had indeed worked as an intern in a media house before opting for a civil service career, there was a limit to which she could understand the “work, work, work without end in the office and at home”
I offered my apologies but still had to plead to upload the story I was working on before the call. I sent a message to my deputy to fully take charge and allow me to be a ‘good’ husband at least for that Sunday when madam called me to order.
When I was redeployed as Editor, Online from my former Sunday Editor position, my wife was excited that I would have more free time. She was wrong. The Online job turned out to be almost 24 hours daily job, with breaking stories calling for attention at awkward times.
I am now supposed to be in semi-retirement and now running my own organization, but here I’m still spending hours online typing articles like this and my wife sometimes says, “ there is not much difference apart from the fact that you don’t go The Nation daily. You are still very in love with your computer.”
In his book Banner Headlines, Stafford Somerfield, former reporter, editor and director of News of the World had some intriguing debatable statement that captures the peculiarity of being the spouse of a journalist.
In the Dedication, he wrote: To all those who marry journalists. They have my deepest sympathy.
On his advice to youngsters seeking to be journalists, he stated: Don’t become a journalist unless you feel that you must and nothing else will do. Even then think twice. To reach the top you must be dedicated; your work must come before home, family and everything else. No sensible girl would marry a reporter, or be one.
Should wives or husbands of journalists be sympathised with as Somerfield suggested? Maybe, maybe not, I guess it’s part of the hazards of the profession.
The Lord is indeed our strength.
I can just imagine what my friend is going through at this time with the children all grown up. I trust Ronke to always use her time effectively. I know she reads a lot but even books can be tiring at some point. I wonder how couples who are both journalist cope. Please give my friend attention so that she will not feel too lonely.
Nice write up for would be journalists wives to learn from.
Thanks for your comment. Doing my best to ensure I am fully home.